how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
