maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
