Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
