when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
