ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize