Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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