i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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