Swine flu. Run for my life!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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