both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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