can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
