A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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