Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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