I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
