East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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