I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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