I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize