he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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