i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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