Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
