He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
