I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
