She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
