Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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