They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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