what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
