Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
