Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
