I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
