Me. At least after what I've been through.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
