they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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