she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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