tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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