I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize