Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What drink are we having for lunch?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
