i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This is the high leading the old right now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize