Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
