So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
