I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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