We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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