I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize