She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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