How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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