All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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