I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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