Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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