it's like iHOP with fire
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Found the puke drawer
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize