I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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