He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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