We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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