also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
