I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize