Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
