The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
