I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
