drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
that may or may not have been my penis.
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