She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
