Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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