she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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