the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
