I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
