I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
