And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
