about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
