I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
