dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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